Renewal - New Years Eve 2018
Happy New Years Eve, friends 🍾
Is it just me or are you ready to celebrate a season of renewal?
Renewal has two definitions in Webster’s Dictionary, the first is resuming an activity after interruption and the second is the replacement or repair of something that is worn down or broken.
As I was reflecting on 2018 this past week, I kept coming back to this feeling of dissatisfaction.
This feeling was odd to me.
In the year of 2018, I tripled my following on Instagram, I became a part of The Volk Magazine team, I had 24 awesome collaborations with brands, I started dating Ben, I became a leader over our college group, I connected more deeply with my friends and family than ever before and, overall, I would term this my most successful year to date. So why did I feel so discouraged?
This weekend, God pulled away all the distractions of my job, my hobbies, my accolades, my family and my boyfriend (all of the “interruptions” as Webster puts it) and placed me in a spot where I could more easily go to Him (if I’m being honest, I tried to run to other things like social media and blogging too, but God kept taking those free periods and filling them for His glory until tonight). Although it was frustrating, it really allowed for truth to be spoken into my life and a clear head for direction for the future.
I have learned so much about myself this weekend as a Christian, a woman, a ministry leader and a friend. I am worn down and feeling broken because I put my focus on things in this world that do not last. I put so much energy into how I look or what I wrote on this blog or how to remain relevant and I leave no time for God to tell me of His love for me or what plans He wants to accomplish in my life. I’m looking to be renewed by my next social media comment or artistic inspiration, instead of the true artist who gives what is good.
I have also seen God use painful experiences from my past to dictate comversations toward truth this weekend. (There is nothing more exciting than seeing God finally put things into place - both joyful and painful - from the past to be used for His glory now). He has allowed me to be a mouthpiece for others to hear and be healed. What an honor!
Whether you’ve had an amazing week or year and have big goals for 2019, or are coming out of a painful period and just find getting out of bed and being productive an unattainable goal, I encourage you to focus on the renewal of your spirit and mind. Take some time to sit quietly and meditate on where God would put you this next year and who He says you are. Only in that will you find true renewal.